The Mumsnet ‘Am I Being Unreasonable?’ forum is always a place of fierce discussion and opinion dividing posts. The very nature of the forum is to share divisive topics for its members to debate.
However, it seems that almost everyone was one the same side in the forum’s most recent – and most outrageous – post.
User1500208833 (catchy) took to the popular parenting website to share her dilemma concerning the ring her partner had recently used to propose to her. What should have been a magical, romantic moment was overshadowed for this bride-to-be by an overwhelming disappointment about the engagement ring.
Although the newly engaged user admits in her post that there is “nothing to dislike about the type of ring per se” her main issue with the important piece of jewellery was the price. She reveals in the post that she, “would have imagined he would have spent [more] on such a significant piece of jewellery” – especially considering his ‘six figure’ salary.
It appears that the mercenary focus of the post, topped off by the revelation that her partner spent £1,300 on the ring (more than many of us could dream spending on an engagement) didn’t impress her fellow Mumsnet users in the slightest. And, the reaction was brutal.
Here’s the bride-to-be’s original dilemma in full:
DP proposed and presented me with the ring he’d chosen – a diamond solitaire in white gold. I was so happy and excited to accept but was disappointed when I first saw the ring. The first word that entered my head was ‘small’. There’s nothing to dislike about the type of ring per se, as a diamond solitaire would have been my choice, but it’s the whole thing – the colour of the gold, the setting, the small stone and relatively chunky shoulders.
His salary is nearing a 6 figure sum and he’s usually very generous. Having seen the receipt I know he paid £1,300 for it – which is a lot less than I would have imagined he would have spent on such a significant piece of jewellery.
He’ll be more disappointed in me for making a fuss over it when, in his eyes, it fits and there’s nothing actually wrong with it rather than being disappointed that I’m not truly happy with it. Someone at work apparently told him that ‘if she makes it all about the ring, then she’s not the girl for you’.
Ideally I would have loved for us to have chosen a ring together and made a special day finding one we both liked.
As it’s something I’ll be wearing every day and is such a special piece of jewellery I wanted to really love it and I just don’t.
Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do?
And, here are some of the responses…
“I’d have been delighted; talk about being ungrateful” wrote one outraged user. “Maybe be an adult and understand that a ring doesn’t make a marriage?” wrote another.
One user mused, “If you’d said you didn’t like the style I’d have been fairly sympathetic. But if it’s simply not big and flashy enough…it sounds like you’re more interested in showing off the ring than you are in him.”
“Asking the comment about the salary and the size is a little unreasonable and comes across as a bit grabby’ someone else points out in the thread.
Tell us what you think!
So, what do you think? Is the bride-to-be right to want to choose her own ring with a higher price tag? Or is it wrong to criticise a man for not spending more on an engagement ring? Write your thoughts in the comment box below. Or, join the debate over on the Woman Facebook page.
However, some users did try to offer some advice…
“If this is the man you intend to spend the rest of your life with you should be able to have a conversation about this” said one. “If it can be returned and you can pick something you like better, together, then do that, but I would probably try and stick to his budget or put the extra to it yourself if you chose something more expensive.”
Others agreed: “I would very kindly tell him that it’s lovely but you would rather have a different style and ask if you can choose something together. If you can’t have that conversation with him then you probably shouldn’t be getting married!”
So, what do you think? Let us know what you would do!