Danniella Westbrook has emotionally confessed that she’s been secretly using drugs again for the past four years – and reached such a low point that she begged to be sectioned after trying to kill herself.
The actress – who previously claimed to have been clean for 13 years – made the revelation in an upfront interview with Kerry Katona on Wednesday’s Loose Women and spoke candidly about how she became suicidal during her struggles.
‘Everyone thinks my lowest point was when I got seen with a hole in my nose but my lowest point has been the last four years and not having my daughter in my life, not having certain things in my life, I haven’t dealt with it the right way, I haven’t dealt with it the adult way,’ Danniella, 44, explained. ‘I have just used.
‘All I’ve done is used. I put myself into hospital two years ago, I said to them, “I have taken copious amounts of coke, every medicine in the house, drunk alcohol; this, that and the other. And I am still waking up – why? Please section me, I am trying to kill myself”.
‘And they sectioned me. I wanted to die. And I thought what could be the thing that could kill me fast enough that won’t give my kids a lot of shame.
‘And it will be an overdose and it will be because everyone will say, “I told you so because she was a coke head”. And my kids know that. I wrote letters to my kids; I’ve got suicide notes from back then and the reason I said is “so you can have a better life”.’
Danniella – who has son Kai, 21, and daughter Jodie, 16, from previous relationships – admitted that she ended up relying on Kai to care for her.
‘With Kai, he became my carer for the last three years when I’ve been using and I’ve been ill. He has put his life on hold for three years to look after me,’ the former EastEnders star revealed.
She also explained that seeing his mum go through such struggles has put Kai off drugs.
‘He will cry on the phone sometimes and say “Do you know what mum, I don’t want to see you die” and there has been times when I have relapsed and I have gone, “I know you don’t want to see me die but I am not helping you,”’ Danniella said as Kai looked on in the audience.
‘It’s hard but I have come through the other side of that and there are still times when I look at him and say “I am so sorry Kai” and he says “Will you stop saying sorry because you are getting me all down and I am in a good mood”.’
Danniella is now focusing on getting better after being honest about her problems and is glad to have Kerry – who has also battled with addiction in the past – on hand to support her too.
‘I feel so much lighter for being honest about it,’ the mum-of-two confessed. ‘I’m not saying I have taken them every day for the last four years but I have struggled for the last years of my life and I am ready to say “please [help me]”.’
In fact Kerry, 37, revealed that she and Danniella have been in touch ‘every day’ since they last appeared on Loose Women together three weeks ago.