Declan Donnelly admitted he felt like he had ‘lost’ his best friend Ant McPartlin during his addiction struggle.
The telly hosting star explained how his on screen partner and real life companion’s drink driving conviction last year almost pushed their friendship to the limit.
Speaking in their ITV documentary Ant & Dec’s DNA Journey, Dec explained, “It has been a tough couple of years and it has tested the bond we have shared since we were 13.”
Candidly speaking about how it felt to watch Ant go through the hard time without reaching out for help, Dec added, “I was incredibly angry at the start, so angry. Disappointed that he didn’t ever come to me and say “I am struggling, I need you” because that is what I would do if the shoe was on the other foot. And he never came to me and that hurt me a lot.
Following his drink driving charge, Ant took time away from the media spotlight and admitted himself into rehab for help with his alcohol addiction.
Describing how he felt as though his bond with Ant wouldn’t weather the storm, Dec continued, “There was a point where I thought that that was it. here were times where I wasn’t sure it was going to survive.
“Times where you didn’t know it needed to survive or you wanted it to survive.
“All the while he was away I wasn’t sure where his head was at or if he was going to say ‘none of this is for me’.”
After Ant’s annual spot on I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here! was filled by This Morning’s Holly Willoughby, Dec was forced to think about a future without Ant by his side.
“I didn’t know what he wanted to do and for the first time in 30 years I had to think about what I was going to do and if I was going to go out on my own.
“The thought of that filled me with fear.”