She uninvited them via group chat!
Find out why this 21-year-old bride fired all her bridesmaids via text!
Organising a wedding is never easy, and every bride-to-be knows that the task would be almost impossible without her bridesmaids.
There is dress shopping to deal with, hen parties to plan, Pinterest boards to approve, and miracles to make happen. Wedding planning is hard work, and bridesmaids are an integral part of it.
Being a key member of the bridal party comes with certain expectations. You have to make commitments, accompany the bride to various appointments, take time off work, and basically learn to put the bride’s needs before your own.
The reward? You get to be there with—and in fact, be there for—your best friend on one of the most important days of her life. You get to share in her special day in an intimate, VIP kind of way. That is reward enough for a best friend…or at least, one would hope.
“I’ve had the same small group of friends since middle school. Lately we’d been growing apart, but I figured that was just due to college, work, ect. We still talked all the time.”
Sure, everyone struggles a little to get the group together after leaving school. Everyone has working lives and family commitments after all…but there’s a different set of rules for a wedding right?
“I’m the first person in our group to get engaged, and I was really excited to do all the fun bridesmaids things with them. They didn’t seem to be excited for me, but I figured it was just because they were busy.”
The bride admits that her friends have “always been kind of flaky”. She recalls her 18th birthday party which only two friends attended. She also recounts the struggle of trying to get them to come to a housewarming party. Saying it was “clear they were just too lazy to come and didn’t want to say so”.
However, these issues were brought up with the group and everyone vowed they would try harder.
“I ended up snapping at them,” she admits, “and told them that I felt like I was only who still cared, and was still putting in effort in this relationship. They all felt bad and promised that we’d all get together in the near future, which we did.”
But flash-forward to the present and the baffled bride is still chasing after her non-committal friends.
“I tried to get them to come to an engagement party, but only my fiancé’s friends showed up. I tried to get them to throw me a bridal shower, but they didn’t, and my mother and aunts ended up being the ones to throw it. I tried to get them to come to my bachelorette party, but my sister/maid-of-honour told me that they weren’t really communicating with her on it. Which is twice as heart-breaking because they are bridesmaids.”
The final straw came when none of the bridesmaids turned up to go dress shopping. With one friend cancelling just an hour before the appointment. The distraught bride was forced to take measures.
“I talked with my fiancé about it, and we both decided that we wouldn’t have anyone in the wedding party besides us and the officiant,” she explains. “His groomsmen were fine with that [and] my friends were indifferent.
“That’s when I finally broke. I was so mad that they weren’t even the slightest bit disappointed in not being my bridal party.”
“I sent them a message in our group chat basically saying ‘since you don’t seem to care, I’ll take you off the invitations.’”
It was a drastic decision. And the bride admits that after having some time to think, she has been having second thoughts.
“After a couple of days of them freaking out over text and me not answering their texts, I cooled down and realised that I had basically un-invited my only friends from my wedding.”
“I feel terrible. I want to re-invite them and make amends, but I’m afraid it’ll just be another cycle until I snap again.”
“I asked my sister and she said to ditch them. But as I speak they are trying to scramble together a bachelorette party for me, and swearing that they’ll make it up to me. The wedding is still a little bit away so there’s still time to fix everything and even have a wedding party, but I’m not sure if I should do that now.”
The bride explained her dilemma and asked Reddit users for their opinions on the tricky situation!
“I’m at a loss and I don’t know if I was justified in doing what I did, or if I was just being childish. I would really appreciate an outside perspective on this.”
The response has been overwhelming, with the majority of users siding with the bride and her decision to fire the bridal party.
“I don’t think you un-invited your friends because it doesn’t really seem like they were your friends to begin with,” commented one user.
“Don’t re-invite them to the wedding,” advises another. “Weddings are a milestone in your life, indicative of change and great things in your future. Now is as good a time as any to say good riddance to bad rubbish.”
What do you think? Is it time for this bride to move on and form new friendships? Or should she forgive and forget?